This weekend, after a year of most of my property still being packed away, I took out my sorority badge box that housed my Zeta Tau Alpha Badge, my lavaliere that my Big gave me, and my ring with the Zeta Crest on it. As I opened the box, I saw that none of my precious Zeta items were in the box. My first reaction was, “Oh- I must have put them somewhere else. Well, I tore apart every box in my basement, my jewelry box, and even found my old white dress hoping it was still pinned on the dress (of course it was not!”) It’s then that I sat on my bed and cried about my loss. Yes, things are replaceable, but these were items that meant a lot to me. If you can figure out where this story is going, and you are trying to figure out where these items are---they are in Chattanooga! And you can take a guess where in Chattanooga they are! I am going to address something in this post about abusive relationships, because it seemed that my blog is turning into a blog about having a voice in an abusive relationship. It is more than violence and words; it’s the control, the power to take something away simply to hurt the other person. Yes, having my Zeta Tau Alpha Badge and other jewelry “stolen” from me hurt me so much more than I thought it would. Those items have sentimental value and remind me of a wonderful time where I can “remember, I am still here” in Zeta spirit. Instead of yelling, screaming and most likely getting in trouble because of my loud mouth, I wiped away my tears and hope this is just one more lesson I need to learn.
These are the moments you have to look around and realize how important it is to be in a better place, and I know that those things I held close to my heart for over four years now will be replaced, the big picture is I can’t be hurt by this anymore. Allowing someone to have control over every little thing in my life because he can is no longer something he can do. But what I can do is so much better and important: ladies and gentlemen look at the relationship you are in at this very moment and ask yourself: do I have a voice, do I have a broken finger or a bruise hiding on my body, am I called hurtful names? Have you had items you hold close to your heart broken or stolen from you because will hurt you? If you answered yes to even one of these questions, I hope you can find the strength somewhere deep inside of you to leave. Having nothing to your name, is better than living in an unsafe environment. The feeling of being alone and afraid will only last a little while.
Find your voice-- I promise your life is so important!