Sometimes I wonder if my GPS will get me through this lost journey I am on. It’s certainly been a journey for the books, and sometimes I wonder how I ended up on this road. Although a difficult trip, I am so forever blessed about this journey. Many of you may know bits and pieces of what happened, and you have helped me fight through the tears and anger with 3:00 a.m. text message support, phone calls, and letters. So many of you have helped me regain strength and pick myself up. I am at a point, where I am really not sure what my next step is because I don’t call Chattanooga my home, but I am not really sure where I am going. However, I do feel like it might be time to tell some of my story because I know a lot of you have been told things, heard things, or seen a blog where some things are quite simply untrue.
So here it is:
This past February I broke off my engagement, I walked out, and never looked back. I was scared, hopeless, and lost. I lived in hotels for a week and a half where only a very few people knew where I was as I waited for a paycheck so that I had enough money for the deposit on an apartment-and that’s where it all started! I sat on the floor of my apartment living room with Papa John’s cheese sticks, a beer, and tissues by my side as I began to try and make sense of what had happened.
Something I found so incredible about this journey is that God placed some amazing people in my life at that time. People who had not known me very long helped me move into my apartment. While I was afraid to return to the house I used to live in and get my stuff, they were there to help. There were people who made sure I was eating and ones who talked me through those “Please let’s work this out” text messages. Most importantly I had friends for the first time in Chattanooga!
I learned that the old adage “when God closes one door, he will always open a window” was true for me. He made sure some of my life was put together before it really fell apart! He had to prepare me for what was to come and for what was going to make this journey the most difficult. Quite simply, I was still reeling from the emotional loss of leaving someone I thought I would spend my life with when the unthinkable occurred. Sparing the juicy details that other people are telling, I will tell you that the end resulted in violence, police, and court. It is not my place to tell his story, but his unprovoked actions resulted in an arrest and conviction. While this may not be what you want to hear, that’s my story!
I learned that God has shown me how amazing a difficult journey can be. I learned that He brought people into my life when I felt truly alone. I also learned how strong I could be by just holding on to the little hope I had left!
I advise anyone reading this to know that you are never really alone and you never have to be in a situation you don’t want. I can honestly say I had moments when I did not think I was going to make it. I had to reach out to my family and friends; I had to and still am getting professional help. I have to remind myself that this is not my fault, I have to remind myself that my strength is something I always had, and I just need to keep fighting!
Never stop fighting and never give up. You will always have a support system, even though you might not know it yet. I found some amazing people in Chattanooga for whom I will always be grateful. Remember: you are so brave, keep fighting my friends!
So much love and support,
Molly Francis